easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
