Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
