id be glad to
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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