after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
a search helicopter?!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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