Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We don't watch enough power rangers
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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