So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
