Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
