Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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