Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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