Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We left an ass print on the piano.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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