I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
