we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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