..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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