Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
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