I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
