Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
