It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
