so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
