once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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