she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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