white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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