you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
