im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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