I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
