Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
