my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
