i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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