I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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