He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
