I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
