her vagine was all disorganized.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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