It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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