we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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