He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
