I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
