absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
