Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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