apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
