i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
