who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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