you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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