He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I wish there were birth control emojis
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
