what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
