There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
