Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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