How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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