Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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