Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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