Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
