So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
