Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
